Wallowing......
Most of the time I don't even think about it... I get by on compliments from random strangers, weird first dates and the occasional daliance with the perpetual unsuitable suitor. But sometimes... when I'm walking by a cute japanese couple and they are wearing coordinated outfits and are so tiny and cute and so obviously in love. I want it. I ache for it. Not to be Japanese. Not to be tiny. ( although those things would be good). Just to be so in love with someone. So coupley.
I don't mean to sound so cliched but love does make the world go round. What do people live for? To meet someone, fall in love and make babies. Or I guess invent someting that will save millions of lives. I'm not much of an inventor, so I assume my purpose in life is the former. I've met people, and I've even fallen in love a few times, but I have yet to take that next step. And sometimes, at my lowest points, I wonder if it will ever happen.. And it sucks. Because I don't want to be THAT GIRL.. You know the one, that's like, all whiny and pathetic and unfullfilled without a guy in her life. It's not that at all. I know I could date someoneif I really wanted to. But to find someone that is good enough to withstand the comparisons to everyone that came before him and is willing to learn all my neurosises and hang ups and stick with me through every little up and down? It's exhausting for me to even think about it.
I often think about the eternal seach for that one great love. Some people spend their whole lives looking for him. But what about those people who met the ONE when they were 16? Or 21? They met, they fell in love, they endured hardships and heart ache and then they broke up... Then they got over it. They met new people and moved on with their lives. But who's to say, if they hadn't stuck it out a little longer, may be tryed to reconnect, or been a bit more mature about things, that things wouldn't have worked themselves out?
What if you met the ONE, your true soul mate and you blew it? Are you supposed to just be like "NEXT!" Or are you supposed to go find the 'one that got away' and see if there is anything still there? And if you do that, who's to say that he hasn't moved on and has totally forgotten about you?
4 comments:
do you push them away before letting them "stick with you through every little up and down"...it's also a matter of you wanting to "stick with them through every little up and down"...
a lot of people settle...and find someone that loves them more than they love the other...you're not a settler....yes the so called "great love"...you'll never find it if you're looking for it. sometimes it takes time to develop and you may fall for a friend...
you think you've met the ONE and blew it, there's only 1 thing you can do to satisfy your curiousity. find out and go from there, stop wasting your energy...don't waste the pretty!
Count me into the pool of frustrated single girls. After six months he couldn't say he loved, liked or even cared about me. He assures me he felt it of course.
I still think there is a one, but perhaps this one changes at different points in your life. Like directions. Let's call my house LOVE, there's a different route to it depending on where you are in the city.
Likewise when you were 16 or 20 or 30 and you meet someone and it is love but doesn't work, it's not that they were the only one, they were just the right one for then, but the two of you chose different paths.
Does that make sense? Probably not, I haven't slept for a while.....
why are we so complicated??? or do we over-complicate things. i don't know of any guy who talks about this kinda "love stuff". maybe they're too simple to even have the thought....
love is work any way you look at it. Nobody want sit to be, and television and mushy songs on the radio tell you its not. But it is. Compromise and dissappointment and everything else horrible in the world. I'm sure I've been in love before and regretted many a romantic situation but I'll leave it till my deathbed to reveal all that juicy stuff.
-turning japanese-a
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