An Ode to Uggs

You know you're ugly, right? Okay, wait. Maybe that's too harsh not ugly like there's no hope for you and no one will ever love you. Because people really love. I really, really love you. I guess I mean kind of ugly like Elijah Wood or Mark Whalberg or something. Cute but kind of off, a little awkward and oafish, I'd say. But you know what, Uggs? I don't care. I don't. I really don't. I don't care that Uggs were deemed officially over in 2004 by VH-1 and even Paul Franks Monkey has blasted you on his tee shirts. I don't care. I love my Uggs. It's getting to be a bit ridculous, though. I mean I wear you almost everyday to work. Work. Where I'm supposed to wear office clothes. But Uggs you've changed me . You've changed me and my priorities. I don't want to wear grown-up office clothes, if it means I can't be with you. I'd rather wear exercise pants and a dressy shirt, just so you can be part of the game. I've let me feet becoem spoiled by you. Even when I wear runners or boots, my feet say " Oh I'd rather be with Ugg." As a stated above: this is getting a bit ridiculous. Uggs are really not the most flattering footwear, you know. They make my legs look like the block legs I used to draw on my stick figures when I was a kid. SOmetimes I look down, and I think that I could almost get away with calling them clown shoes. And when I'm on carpet? Forget about it. I trip over my own feet so many times you'd think I was practing my tumbling routine for the 2006 Olympics. But I don't care. Why because you are comfortable and cute and trendy but not too trendy and did I mention cute? I really thought i would be over it when I bought my purple Mukluks. But you won be back, Ugg. You won me back with you fury lining and easy-to tuck trunk, I mean legs.

"I wish I could quit you, Uggs!"