Hey You! Stop picking on me!

Ever feel like the world is against you? Sure you have. We all have. But for me it's true! I Swear. Prospective bosses have told me I am unprofessional; unsuitable; unable; underqualified; unimaginative; undereducated, un-human basically. I hate it! Stop being so MEAN! I am a nice girl. Can't NICE thing happen to me? If I don't have the job, fine. So be it. But at least, at least leave me with my dignity. Don't "harsh on my mellow when i'm already on my way down, dude" as Dexter Reed said so eloquently in the classic flick, Good Burger.
I already have bruises from my fall from grace, please don't kick me anymore!
And while I'm at it, hello random walkers with umbrellas; Don't go under the awning and make me walk in the rain when I don't even have a hood on. That's MEAN!
And don't bump my bag so hard that it falls off my shoulder and I stumble. I have a big bag, yes. I know. But you have two eyes with which you, as an able-bodied human being, should be able to gage how much space is needed to walk by me and my bag without touching me. Don't Touch me! And if you do, Say Sorry!
And if I know you, Be Nice to Me. I am sick. And sensitive. Think about me. Love me. I love you. I promise. As long as you Stop being so Mean!